Halfway Point

Hey everybody! I had a light bulb moment today : loosing weight has been stressing. me. out.

Do you want to know one of the huge reasons why I decided to commit to working out and blogging about it? Because I was bored senseless. I was used to having a project and long-term goals for myself. Once I got out of school and started working, I felt so stagnant in my life. Don't get me wrong, Baden and I have long-term goals together, but they mostly involve him being in school and reaching certain milestones with nursing. What I needed was to be moving forward with something for me. I guess I felt school filled that void while I was in it, but once I started just going to work and coming home everyday, I was unfulfilled and restless. Loosing weight had been on my mind a lot and I decided that would be my long term project.

But here's the thing. I'm far from bored anymore. For anyone that doesn't know, we are trying to move to Greensboro at the end of this year. As in less than two months. So I've been applying to jobs, worrying about getting a job in time, thinking about what we would do if I didn't get one...etc...etc...

Here's what all this boils down to. Working out doesn't leave me with a lot of free time. Which was fine when I was bored. But now it's become this vicious circle where if I don't exercise, I feel guilty until I go again. If I do exercise, I'm left with so little down time that I quickly get depressed. It's really to the point where the only time in my week that I'm content and relaxed is Saturday afternoons because I can work out that morning and have the rest of the day to chill out. (Sidebar: Can you tell I'm no where near ready for a kid? I still have at least 2-3 hours to myself everyday and it's not enough! Because that 2-3 hours sill has to have housework and getting stuff ready for the next day factored in! Anyways....)

I'm at about the halfway point in my weight loss, having lost 25 lbs. (The lowest number I've seen on the scale has been 151.8, just FYI) I'm thinking what I need to do for my sanity is to be in maintenance mode for a while. I certainly don't want to put any back on, but I just can't handle the stress of trying to loose more right now. Hopefully we can be nice and settled in Greensboro in a couple months, and then I can start again. I'll still be working out a couple times a week, that's part of maintaining. I'm just tired of beating myself up if I don't go more than that.

Don't worry, I'll still be blogging! This will still mark the first time I actively try to maintain my weight. And by the way, I can't thank you all enough for your encouragement and love! And if any of you know of a coding job in Greensboro, hook me up. :)